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(from "Elfmeter" issue 35)
When is a name not a name? When it's a nickname, of course. And doesn't football have a lot of them? Too many if you ask us. So let's go to Germany, where they don't have this problem . . .
The dictionary defines nickname as 'a name given in contempt, or in jocular or fond familiarity.' Football fans in Britain accept even the most banal of them without a second thought; players are forever being given ones which fail to tax the creativity of a six-year-old. What is the purpose of a nickname, anyway? This question seems to have been asked by German football fans throughout history, because more often than not their clubs don't have one.
Some clubs might think they do: Concordia Hamburg are often called 'Cordi' but of course this is merely a truncation of the club's name, and not a true nickname. After all, 'Andy' isn't a nickname for 'Andrew,' is it? FV Wilhelmsburg are allegedly 'nicknamed' die Nullneuner but as the club's full name is FV 1909 Wilhelmsburg, this, too, hardly qualifies. To be sure, most of the big clubs have been given plenty of names either in contempt, or in jocular or fond familiarity. But they're not widely known. We suspect Bayern Munchen in particular may have quite a few names given to them in contempt by rival supporters, but this article is only meant to be a page long. And yet for all their success and their rich history of tradition Bayern continue to operate without a 'proper' nickname. Whatever one of those is.
And what about Borussia Dortmund, whose black and gold colours are surely evocative enough to link up with a veritable menagerie of creatures: tigers, leopards, bumblebees, hornets, wasps, you name it. But no, the closest Dortmund have to a nickname is BVB (Ball Verein Borussia), which is merely part of the club's official name, and is remarkably uninteresting to boot.
It may be that the prominence of initials in German clubs' names has eliminated the need for nicknames. Go to the Bokelberg and you'll hear Borussia Monchengladbach fans refer to their heroes not as die Fohlen but as VfL (Verein fur Leibesubungen--'club for physical exercise').
If not initials, then colours. Arminia Hanover are die Blauen because they play in blue, whilst neighbours Hannover 96, not wanting to be left out of the municipal rainbow, are called die Roten because--astonishingly enough--they play in red. Further north, they've introduced a degree of sophistication by working in articles of clothing. St. Pauli's infrequently-used cognomen is die Braunhemden, even if the shirts they play in are not always brown, whilst Hamburg SV refer to themselves as die Rothosen (red shorts). Tit for tat nicknaming at its finest, you must agree.
Despite the high number of German clubs who wear green, we're not aware of any nicknamed die Grunen, which is probably just as well, as this might indicate a certain political bias which the club may not be seeking to promote. FC Chemnitz are die Himmelblauen (sky blues), which should interest Coventry City fans if nothing else, and Tennis Borussia Berlin--when they're not being called TeBe--are sometimes referred to as die Violleten, presumably because of the traditional colour of their shirts and not for any horticultural interests.
If it's plant life which interests you, then you would be well-advised to support SpVgg Furth or Rot-Weiss Oberhausen, both of whom are nicknamed die Kleeblatter. Whether the day will ever come when a British club is nicknamed the Clover-Leaves is another matter, but then again not many German clubs are nicknamed the Toffeemen. SV Darmstadt are die Lilien, the German word for fleur-de-lis, which of course is the French word for iris.
Birds also figure prominently in Spitznamen. Eintracht Frankfurt are probably the best-known of the all-too-many clubs known as die Adler (eagles), but Holstein Kiel took an interesting departure by opting for die Storche (storks). This is because in the club's early days, players used to volunteer to bring new-born babies home from the hospital. Or possibly not. And let's not forget the House-Sparrows of SSV Ulm (die Spatzen), who are sure to strike fear in the hearts of many an opponent with their intimid ating moniker.
Our favourite German nickname, though--and quite possibly the best in all of the European Community--belongs to Alemannia Aachen, who must surely be the only club in the world with the Colorado Beetle for a nickname. Come on you Kartoffelkafer.
